He is everything to me.

On the phone the other day my sister told me about a conversation she’d had with Noah in the car. She’d told him that she loved him, and he’d looked at her and said, ‘no, Mummy, you love Daddy.’

‘That’s true,’ my sister said, ‘but I love you too. Do you love Mummy?’

‘I love Susie,’ said Noah. ‘Susie loves me as big as the sky.’

Which is what I’d told him the weekend before — several times, in fact — in-between kissing his face, and dancing, and letting him play with my make-up. And playing trains…. and watching Tangled…. and making some cooking.

I keep thinking about this sweet little exchange. I love that Noah thinks about me when I’m not there. I love that I am a part of his small reality. I love that he doesn’t forget me. These are the things that keep me going on the days I want to give up.

And now he is three. He still says ‘fallah’ instead of flower, and we hope he never stops. He says actually all the time, but it’s “atch-a-len”. He likes us to chase him around the kitchen on his scooter — “let’s go quickly fast!” he says. And we try… we try.

Being his auntie has brought me more joy than I could have ever imagined. I remember watching him come into this world. His mummy was so brave in those last hours — in all the hours. I knew that watching my sister give birth would mean something special, but i had no idea that it was Noah she was giving birth to. The funniest, cutest, sweetest little boy who has stolen all our hearts and made this world a better place to live in. I love him more today than I did yesterday, and will love him even more tomorrow.

And now this auntie needs to have a little cry.

I love you, baba. As big as the sky.

TWO | ONE | ZERO

Not much time for blog posts this week as I’m saving all my words for Journal Your Life, my brand new class that starts this coming Monday! Always feel a bit nervous before sharing a new course, but it’s mixed with lots of excitement too. Like all my courses, this one is really close to my heart — I’ve even been buying new notebooks and calling it ‘research’ ;-)

I’ll leave registration open till Sunday, so if you’d like to join us there’s still time to sign up over here xo

Pink hair he painted himself. Pink is his favourite colour. How he copies us and learns so fast. His fascination with my make-up bag — the eye liner he daubed on his eye lid when I wasn’t looking. Lipstick dabbed on, too. He’s always dancing, he’s like our own miniature Billy Elliot. Pingu and Tractor Tom. Tractors and trains in general. Going to the zoo and seeing the lion cubs! The penguins! The snakes! He liked the lizards, too. Making some cooking — his recipe included 2 eggs, milk, grated ginger and apple (he insisted on them being grated), biscuit crumbs and purple food colouring. Skyping with nana. He knows his way around the iPad better than me (he calls it the “pie pad”). Spinning round till we fall over — he giggles and shouts “wobbly! wobbly!” meaning he’s dizzy, then falls over (I lasted 4 goes at this and then was so dizzy i thought I’d throw up. Noah was not fazed by this in the slightest and insisted we “DO IT AGAIN!”). Dancing to this over and over. Balloon football with daddy. Bedtime snuggles on the sofa with mummy. He uses his potty like a champ! Singing songs from Tangled – when he sings along to this one i have tears rolling down my cheeks, it’s just so sweet and touching. I get spontaneous kisses now, and even when they’re snotty and mixed with broccoli, I treasure every one.

He is my favourite boy in the whole wide world.