~ Hello 2010 ~

Narnia_sunAfter all the colour and clatter of the festivities, I want to sink into silence for a few days. My plans for 2010 are clamouring for my attention, as if a switch has been thrown and now they are free to run around the playground. But right now i'm more intrigued by the clear white space of a new year, open for possibilities, new beginnings, clear-headed thinking, dreaming, manifesting. Letting go of the old year, and all the mistakes, and welcoming in a new way of thinking – positive, hopeful, optimistic. Ready. Clear. Free.

I've made this desktop wallpaper* for January as a reminder – I find it difficult to say those super-loving affirmations to myself (you know the ones: I am beautiful, I am a radiant being of light, blah blah blah) so i figured if i we say it to each other it would be just as powerful…

You are amazing.

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* The images are for your personal use only and I retain the copyright, etc etc :)

~ New traditions ~

Baubles Sitting on the sofa in my sister's house, watching her wrap presents in the kitchen and promising not to look when she wraps certain ones. A rerun of The Office is playing in the background as i type; Steve sips from a can of Guinness and i'm considering cracking open the fancy bottle of Trinidadian rum i bought for tomorrow. Earlier Abby was sitting beside me and I rested my hand on her tummy, waiting for my nephew's little kicks hello; we are all very aware that this time next year there will be a nine-month-old little monkey shuffling around on the floor. This is the first time in all our life that Abby & I have not spent Christmas Day at our mother's house, the house we grew up in. We were all gung-ho for something new this year, a change around in preparation for all the changes 2010 will bring to our family. Mum and her partner will arrive on Boxing Day, so for now we are cosy in my sister's home, with full stomachs and rosy cheeks, the cats padding around with their muddy paws, the Christmas tree lights twinkling, the bottle of rum calling. New traditions being made…

~ People ~

Tartinegirl I'm slowly working my way through the Polaroid scanning, savouring the sights I captured while my body clock tries to reset itself. My thoughts about my trip away, and what it all means, are still jumbled, and I'm in that strange place of being at home but feeling i should be elsewhere. And not feeling the least bit Christmassy, but i know that will change once i'm with my family next week.

There's something about being abroad that makes you bold; my time in San Francisco saw me take my very first stranger portraits, something i've never had the nerve to do here. It started with my delayed flight to San Diego, chatting to the guys beside me as i sat on the floor of the airport, twittering the time away. Charming and funnny, they were a rock band on their way to Kansas City to play a gig that night, and when we eventually made it on to the plane they'd saved a seat for me – utterly charming, i tell you! And so my first stranger portrait was of Sammi, their lead singer.

Emboldened by this Polaroid triumph, I snapped Airyka (above) a few days later when i had lunch with Alex and Mati at Tartine. And later that afternoon it was the guitarman on Valencia Street whose name i didn't get – the ultimate zipless portrait, perhaps? :)

Sadly (and stupidly) I didn't manage to get Polaroid portraits of all the friends i spent time with while i was away, but the few i did capture i hold close to my heart. For me, this holiday was all about Polaroids (every day someome would comment on my camera and ask me if i could still get film for it – every day! The ultimate conversation starter), that amazing city and the lovely souls who live there.

Mati500
Den500
Sammi
Alex500
Kelmati_500
LisaCongdon
Guitarman
Mr_pickle500
Den_sus_500 [from the top: Airyka at Tartine; Mati Rose; Denise & Cedar; Sammi at San Francisco Airport; Alex; Kelly Rae & Mati; Lisa; unnamed guitar player on Valencia Street; Andrea, Mati, Leslie & Kelly Rae with Mr Pickle; Denise & me]

~ Dream come true ~

Bluecar
I had a really good post planned out in my head that was going to be written in the style of a fairy tale, and talk about this 19-year-old girl who dreamed of visiting a certain city and how she bought a guide book and read it cover to cover and would talk to her friend M about how they'd both live there one day with their respective boyfriends. But time ran away with me, and before i knew it i was leaving the house and in the cab and on the train and in the airport and on the plane and now here i am.

I'm in San Francisco!

It's a trip that's been 17 years in the making. I've brought a LOT of Polaroid film with me but i'm still worried it's not enough. I cracked open a fresh moleskine on the plane and intend to do a lot of journalling, and am hoping to share photos here every day or so. And meet some friends and have lots of coffee. And soak up as much of this city as i can. Despite those teenage dreams i've arrived with my expectations in check – this definitely feels like bit of a soul trip for me, but i am open to whatever happens.

Next Thursday I'm hoping to organise a mini get-together in a cafe somewhere, so if you're nearby come and say hello! I'll be sharing more details on Facebook when i've had a sleep and know where we're meeting.

I can't believe i'm here! I got teary as we flew over the Golden Gate Bridge :)