Friends, I am blown away by the response to yesterday’s little announcement! It does my heart good to know I am headed in the right direction. Can’t wait to get started!
For the August Break
On balance…
Something I’ve been pondering lately is how to balance my publically viewable life (ecourses, blogging & now a book) with my private life (everything else). How do i give as much of myself as I can — for that is what I feel called to do — while also maintaining some boundaries? At a couple of the book events last month I was asked how I felt about sharing so much of myself online and in a book, and my answer each time was this: there is actually a LOT that I don’t share. I don’t know why i feel so comfortable sharing the way i do here. I don’t mind talking about PMS or grief, or whatever I’m chewing on in that moment. I like to share the realisations i have as i really value when other people share the same, so i hope that whatever I’ve realised will be helpful to someone else experiencing a similar situation. I guess being able to write in such an open and expressive way does make it seem like i’m spilling my guts all the time, but in all honesty there’s a lot I keep to myself. I mean… of course, right? If i shared the minutiae that fills my head you’d all have switched off by now :)
I talk about setting your own personal boundaries as a creative blogger in Blogging from the Heart. I think it’s important to know what you are willing — and not willing– to share online. For example, I decided early on that I didn’t want to share details of my relationship with my love, that i wanted this blog to be a chronicle of my new life rather than a memorial to the past. When i’m in my next relationship I will no doubt have new boundaries to define, sharing my experiences in a way that respects the privacy of my new partner. It’s all down to personal choice and your own comfort levels, another reason why I love blogging so much — we set our own rules!
The other side of my online existence is my business. It still blows my mind that i even HAVE a business, because that was never my intention. In fact, I don’t really see what i do as a “business” at all. I see it as another part of me, one that’s so integrated into who I am and how I feel I find it hard to separate the two. It’s amazing that we are living in a time when people like me, someone who had no biz skills whatsoever (i’ve had to learn the hard way) can find a way to pay her rent with the power of her MIND. Because that’s what it feels like sometimes. Sharing knowledge and experience is such a time-honoured profession, and add in the internet and shazam — a whole new way of working has been born. Online biz is all the rage these days and I say hallelujah to that — so many people, women especially, are finding ways to support themselves using their talents and strengths. It’s exciting new ground, and I’ll admit I have days when i worry it will all fall away and I’ll be completely stuffed, but for now I try to trust that if I follow what feels true to me — sharing what I know, working with absolute integrity always, being of service — then I’ll continue building something that has value in the world. This is my hope and my intention.
Something for the weekend
Anais Nin on life, hand-lettered by Lisa Congdon
Custom fortune cookies | fruit stickers for kids
Love this so much: modern Marrakesh
First colour image of the Martian landscape — !!
Getting rid of stuff by Martha Beck (love her)
Helen Gurley Brown: feminist hero and unapologetic slut
Quinoa with lentils, mint & feta | fried eggs & edamame | Lulu’s chocolate tartlets “pour tout le monde!”
From Susan Piver: “We are perpetually engaged in a choice between two minds states: we are either bored or entertained. And like a strained muscle that has “forgotten” how to relax, we have forgotten how to relax our minds into a state that is neither bored nor entertained. Meditation reintroduces us to what it means to actually rest our minds in a state of openness, simply at ease.”
Design Sponge’s Grace Bonney on life/work balance
I heart Joy: 16 things to do when you’re bored
Our book on Brain Pickings! (such a clever idea, too)
Sarah Wilson on the lesson that’s changing her life
No really… you are. xo
Following my heart
One of the gifts of the book tour was getting to spend time with some of my dearest friends and deepen my connections to pals I’ve made online. We talked about life and work, mused on our plans and dreams, and made space for plenty of laughter and gossip, too. Nothing unusual about any of that, for sure, but what was most interesting — and useful — to me was how often the topic of dating came up. In my “real life” at home I have no single friends — everyone I love and trust is coupled up with a significant other. Literally, everyone. So to be able to talk with single women about the twisted path we have to traverse to find love was so… fantastic. Liberating. Galvanising. Life-changing.
These women were aged from 29 to 49, so I’m not just talking about chicks my age. I got to hear about so many different experiences and peek in on so many different viewpoints. Earlier this year I dipped my toe in the online dating pool and found the water far too chilly for my nervous feet. But here were these amazing women boldly swimming in the water, surfing the highs and holding their breath for the inevitable lows. With every conversation I felt more excited to don my water wings and get back out there. Because it wasn’t just me who struggles with all this. They all do. And they are still trying, and hoping, and keeping their hearts open to the possiblity that someday somebody wonderful will walk into their lives and make the twisted path make sense.
Three and a half weeks away from home was enough time to cut the ties to this town. Living out of a small suitcase reminded me that home is not the place I live — it’s a feeling I carry inside me. Soaking in the energy of every city I visited made me more and more excited to take the leap to the place that has been calling my heart home: London.
So I am back in Bath, but it’s not for much longer. I’m currently down-sizing my possesions, letting go of anything I no longer need. My book collection has been reduced by three-quarters; 80% of my cameras will soon be listed on eBay. I’ve given away furniture and clothes. I’m working my way through every cupboard and shelf, editing my possesions down to the things that i absolutely love, absolutely need or absolutely can’t get rid of just yet. My college dissertation? Gone. The knitted cat my mum made while pregnant with me? She stays :)
This is the third time I have declared I’m moving to London on this blog. This is the first time I have been truly — TRULY — ready. To me, London means expansion. It means stepping into the life I want, the bigger, braver, bolder life I am ready to inhabit. And, frankly, it means being in a place where there are more boys to meet. Because, hey, that’s important too. Bath has been beautiful to me and I will always come back to see the magnolia trees bloom in the spring. But it’s time to move into the next chapter and there’s much to do in preparation. As I’ll be out of the country for much of October I have set my moving date to the first week of November.
It is done.
And, honestly, I couldn’t be more thrilled. Or more ready.