I was reading back through my journals last night. I was in a strange head space – yoga and time with my sister had opened my heart wide so that all the light – and dark – started to seep inside. In just over a month I'll have been in this city a year, and while so much has happened I had a moment where I felt i had stood still for too long, like an astronaut suspended in space as the world continues to spin. So i sat myself in front of the drawer where I keep all my diaries, and i pulled out the one that included July last year. The first entry i opened to spoke of my fears around moving to Bath, of wondering how I could get everything done in time, and wondered who I was to be creating the workshop i'd be teaching in the autumn. I already knew I'd call the class Unravelling… I knew what i wanted to share and how I wanted to lead the class…. i just didn't believe i had the right to teach it, or that anyone would show up.
A year later and those words made me smile, and made me want to reach out to the me of a year ago and reassure her that it would all work out okay. It makes me wonder about the dreams I scribble in my diary now – which of these will i be living this time next year? Is future me on her way here already, carrying reassuring words and a packet of Polaroid film in her pocket?
*sigh* You are the best writer. I feel as though what you write has happened to me. There’s an understanding and a relating… I stink at explaining it. You just are the best. =)
It fills me with awe or amazement, to peak at old journal entries, and observe that moment and those emotions from afar … from the present.
I had a bit of the same yesterday but with letter I scribbled to myself about what I hoped for and what I should keep believing in. It was good timing as I recently had to reconsider some of my plans because of purely material things, but it reminded me of others I had forgotten about and revived them.
Also, you do write really well. I can’t wait for registration for the autumn class to be open. I would love to be part of it.
Yesterday I realized how much your course had changed me. I always have been able to really *see* people, know from their expression who they might be, what they might be going through. But it seems most of the time I have ignored my surroundings. As I walked on campus yesterday, I saw the most marvelous things. Thank you Susannah. I’m happy you created this workshop.
i love your reflections. they’re making me think about how worried i tend to get. things usually work ok and your journal entries kind of prove it. i should give it try, too. enjoy your weekend!
I think I just needed to read this. Thank you.
yes, she is…and she also says it will be alright
thanks for the writings, I became very interested and inspired to teach ..
She’s already here – sometimes she possesses the body of your friends and speaks through us, using our strange Kiwi accents to say “you can do more than you would once even have dreamed of, but more even than that you are everything you ever need to be already. Perfect and complete and a treasure and pleasure to call friend.”
i used to make a practice of stopping and asking myself to remember a moment and to look back at that moment in three months, a year, three years. i was usually in a time of tension or change and it soothed me to think of looking back once the moment was well in the past. i haven’t done this for a while. thanks for reminding me…
i look forward to future you and future me sharing a cup of something and dancing… much love, lisa
It’s funny how little credit we give ourselves—I often feel the same way—I’m always thinking about the next step and forgetting what I’ve accomplished already and how far I’ve come. So much has happened just in the past year! Thanks for the reminder.
So good…
I used to write myself letters from myself at a young age to myself at an older one, wouldn’t it be amazing if we could do it in reverse!!
SEE you soon!
xoox
Thank you so much Susannah. I have – this week – begun my creative life ‘online’. Just last night I was wishing I could jump forward one year and see where I’ve got to, see how far I have come. I hope and pray my success, personally and ‘out in the world’ is near to yours.
I loved reading this post and probably will again… you are a special gal!
that’s really cool.